tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-888155536200625525.post3141142314012048323..comments2011-11-04T14:49:06.420-07:00Comments on Fan Fiction 2011/2 group 6: Floyds Draft 2Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07106448824633699950noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-888155536200625525.post-28647472149568205492011-08-12T16:30:05.657-07:002011-08-12T16:30:05.657-07:00It's very desriptive and writing from a first ...It's very desriptive and writing from a first person point of view made me visualise it quite well. Nice use of similes and metaphors. I like how the conclusion is linked to the introuduction. There are little mistakes such as capitals and spelling issues, but other than that its a job well done! :DBeleanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14650890061048321522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-888155536200625525.post-80814479822832649602011-08-05T03:20:15.222-07:002011-08-05T03:20:15.222-07:00This is a rather dark fiction to me. The imaginary...This is a rather dark fiction to me. The imaginary visual gave off as I read really sucks me into it. I'm not very sure if you are a Christian but as I decipher this fiction is the happy ending for a sin soul as it escaped from being tortured forever with the generosity of Jesus. The sound of a 'snake voice' is rather odd for the saviour. If that's the case I suggest you write something as the feather-weight voice, soothing voice would be better. Well, I won't go against it if you wanted to describe an enrage Jesus though. Nice fiction.Simon Nguyenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12917587272756146401noreply@blogger.com