Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Beleana's FanFic Draft

Bubblegum Treat

It was the weekend and Sponge bob and Patrick were near the jelly fields lying down looking at the sky, using their imagination to look for shapes in the clouds and telling each other about it, when Sponge bob had a great idea.
"Hey Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Err....yea I'm thinking what you're thinking....."
"Do you know what would make this more enjoyable; something that involves us chewing??"
"Errr........eating donuts and looking at the clouds?"
With a confused look on his face, Sponge bob wasn't sure if Patrick was really thinking what he was thinking. 'oh well', Sponge bob thought, 'he will find out'.
"Patrick, you're close but we're going to have a bubble gum blowing contest!!!!"
Now it was Patrick's turn to be confused . He didn't understand what Sponge bob was talking about.
"HUH??? A what???"
"Patrick! Bubble gum and a contest. Between you and me."
Finally Patrick understood and got the picture. A bubble gum and a contest.
"OOOOHH!! Oooo can I have pink? that's my favourite colour."
"Bubblegum only comes in one colour anyways."
 "Come on, lets go get pink bubblegum from snack'n'attack"
Sponge bob and Patrick went to get bubblegum and then came back to the field and
Sponge bob starts chewing and blowing.
With a face that looked as if it was going to pop, Patrick tried to blow a bubble but it kept on going flat. Whereas Sponge bob was successfully blowing bubbles, however, not big enough to his satisfaction.
"Umm....how do you blow a bubble, Spongebob?"
Spongebob turned around and to see Patrick's face continuously turning blue and purple.
"Its easy! Like this!"
Sponge bob closed his eyes and with a simple blow, he blew into the gum and out came a bubble.
"Wooow!!," Patrick said with admiration as he watched the pink bubble grow bigger and bigger and bigger.
Then it popped in front of Patrick's face. He didn't even move when it landed there. Sponge bob opened his eyes again, "I think that was the biggest one I've done," he said proudly and smiled. "Now you try! All you have to do is say 'it's easy!' "
Patrick nodded and with his face in concentration he said "It's easssssssyyy!!"
He did not notice it himself but Patrick was actually blowing really hard and a bubble was developing slowly.
"Wow! You're doing it Patrick. Whooooo!!!"
Patrick saw what was in front of him and then the bubble popped. Patrick had a huge smile on his face.
That afternoon, Sponge bob and Patrick practiced blowing bubbles until it grew dark.

The next day Patrick came knocking on Sponge bob's house.
"Sponge bobbbb!! Let's do the contest now!" he said excitedly.
The door was opened by Gary and Patrick let himself in. It looked like Sponge bob was in a hurry.
"Sorry Patrick, but I've got work today. Let's do the bubblegum contest after I finish work"
"Awwww...........fine! I'll practice with Gary!"
"Meow" Gary said. Patrick stormed out of the house, and on the way he picked up Gary.

Some hours later, Sponge bob was happily flipping over patties on the grill, when he looked out the window and sees in the distance, Patrick having fun blowing bubbles. 'Gary looks like he's having fun watching Patrick blow bubbles,' Sponge bob thought to himself. 'What's that in his mouth??' he wondered. 'Is that bubblegum? Did Patrick give bubblegum to my Gary?!'
"SPONGEBOB!! You're burning the patties!! If you're burning the patties, then you're burning me money!!!" shouted Mr. Krabs.  
Startled, Sponge bob looked at the patties that were left on the grill, becoming burnt.
"Ahh!! S-s-sorry Mr.Krabs, but Patrick gave some bubblegum to Gary. I can see Gary chewing from here." and he pointed out the window towards Gary and Patrick.
"I don't care about your Gary. I care about me-me- the customers!! Argh!! They are the important ones here. Focus Sponge bob, Focus!!" and with that, Mr.Krabs went off, back to his office.
Sponge bob quickly chucked the burnt patties to the bin and started again. But he couldn't stop thinking about how Gary was chewing bubblegum. 'How can Patrick do that to me? Maybe he's trying get to me to do the contest. So that's why he got revenge on me, by giving bubblegum to Gary!!!' He was shocked and gasped.
'I'm going to beat him at the bubble gum contest. Honestly, how can he do that to Gary!'
Sponge bob worked hard but was angry. When it was his break, Sponge bob went straight to where Patrick and Gary was. He was still there practising.
"PATRICKKK!!" shouted Sponge bob. "PAATRICCKK!!"
Patrick stopped blowing bubbles and turned to Spongebob.
"Why did you give bubblegum to Gary?!"
"I didn't. . . . "
"I SAW him chewing!"
"But it wasn't bubble gum. . . "


  1. That is a very fun fan fic!! You're doing an awesome job! I'm a big fan ob Spongebob!! I especially love Patrick!
    I really liked this fan fic, because it really seems like a new Spongebob episode. When I started reading it, I could imagine Spongebob's, Patrick's, Gary's and Mr Krab's facial expressions.
    You might need to check soem of the grammar, for example, at the beginning of the story, you could say 'It was the WEEKEND', better than "it was the weekends". Also in the phrase "Sponge bob and Patrick goes to get bubblegum and then comes back to the field", as 'Sponge bob and Patrick go to get bubblegum, and then they go back to the field'.
    Those were just suggestions, but really you are doing an excellent job! Keep it up!

  2. Well Nadine said everything, If you're going to make an ending I'll look forward to see the ending then. Otherwise you could add some expression on Spongebob and Patrick at the end or Gary grinning would be fun coz the ending somewhat sudden.