Tuesday, 2 August 2011

fan fiction draft

Ash and Pikachu




Pokemon fan fiction

Pokemon was animals that can go on to a small pocket balls. It can be small or large, no matter what the size was. It can be big as
3m or small as 30cm.
They can use many skills such as bite,tackle,growl, sand-attack, confusion and many more. They can defeat each other.
Doctor  Oshawott was the creator of the Pokemon.
Ash was one of the great Pokemon fighter.

Pikachu was yellow, electric type pokemon.
Ash was the master of Pikachu.

Pikachu decided to run away from Ash. He wanted to get out of the pocket ball. He stole money while Ash was sleeping.
It was enough to get an airplane ticket and money for one year to stay in America.

So, he went to America. On his way to America, he had to sneak away from the airplane. It was his first time in America. And the airplane was so clean and flight attendants were very kind.  He wanted to eat a hot dog and pizza and the big cheeseburger. 
He arrive America. He went to Time Square and the ferris’ wheel. On his way to the bar, he saw the cutest, sexiest pokemon ever but he was too shy to ask. Her name is Jigglypuff. She was American bartender. Pikachu was in love. He kept on ordering drinks. And he got drunk. Just when he was about to ask her, he had to trow up. Pikachu was sad, drunk and lonely. 

As the bar was closing, Jigglypuff walked up to Pikachu. And asked if Pikachu to wanted to go nightclub. Picachu was excited. He had never been to a nightclub before. They entered the club. The music was loud. Everything is dark. Picachu loved the razers. The razers reminded the Ok’s lab. Picachu decided trued to do tequila shots. He got drunk …again! He turned and could not fine Jigglypuff. Pikachu was confused. “Oh, pikapi!!” And all of the sudden, he saw Jigglypuff, dancing with another pokemon. It was Gengar. He was purple and look like an evil ghost. Picachu got angry. He broke the glass and he could feel electric power in his body. Pikachu attacked Gengar first and electrocuted him. Gengar was knocked out easily.
Myu thought, ‘Pikachu is masculine and strong’. They started to dance together. 
Pikachu asked Jigglypuff that if she can go Japan with him but Jigglypuff knew Pikachu was drunk and didn’t take it seriously.
Next morning, Pikachu walked up side of the road. He couldn’t remember anything except Jigglypuff. He couldn’t remember the bar where he met her. Pikachu was sad and had a headache. He thought, “I am going to find the bar!!!”
Later, on that evening, he started to going one bar to the next, looking for Jigglypuff.
 Meanwhile, Ash was looking for Picachu. He was losing the fights because he didn't have Picachu. He asked Raticate, one of the Picachu's best friend. Raticate told hesiated to talk to Ash because Pikachu told him not to talk to Ash where he is going. "I'm sorry, master,"hesiatated Raticate. Then Ash threatened him, " If you don't tell where Pikachu went, I will put you in a hard training."Raticate got scared then told Ash, "He went to America, New York!!"

Ash thought, "New York is too big, I might need Doctor Ok's lab."
Doctor  Oshawott  gave an advice, "Use this machine. It is used to track pokemon." The machine was sized as big as hands and tracked where Pikachu is going. It says that Pikachu at New York's bar.

On the other hand, Pikachu find the bar where Jigglypuff is.
"Ah, there you are,"shouted Pikachu. Jigglypuff was serving at the new bar. "Where have you gone?"
Jiggylpuff didn't say anything. She just looked at Pikachu sadly.
Then, Pikachu throw glass. Jigglypuff got suprised and scared. 
"Well, I don't really like you." Jigglypuff said. 
"..." Jigglypuff didn't say anything, she just looked at the floor.

At that moment, Ash came to the bar. Staring at Pikachu, "Pikachu!I found you!" Pikachu got suprised. "Ah, you. I am not your pokemon anymore."
"I got a poket ball for you," said Ash.
Ash throw the poketball to Pikachu.
Pikachu resisted and the pocket ball didn't work. 

"What happens? Why doesn't my pocket ball work?"
"Because I am a super pockmon!!"
Pokemon becomes super pokemon when he got drunk.
Pikachu, is very drunk so it was obvious that poket ball didn't work.
"Haha, I've got a master ball."
Master ball is the super ball which can capture poket mon in any situation. Master ball grabbed Pikachu.
Pikachu was now inside the ball.

Ash satisfacted. "Ah, I finally grabbed you, Pikachu!"
Ash thought, "Now where should I go?"

He was thinking of having a nice holiday in America. So, he decided to go to the beach.
“I know a good place for holiday!” said Jigglypuff.

“You can be my guide.” Ash followed Jigglypuff. Along the West coast,
The sun was shining. The beach was beautiful and Jigglypuff and Ash were laying down on the beach peacefully.  Everybody was happy. This is how the story ends.


  1. Hi, just a quick comment so you can improve on the fan fiction. You got a spelling on "throwing up" and I'm not that sure when you write "Picachu decided trued to do tequila shots." Well it's Pikachu anyway.

    Moreover, you can hit double enter to get the paragraphs separated for easier reading. And as not everyone know about Pokemon, you can have a bit of the synopsis of the original piece and an image each time you introduce to the story so it'll be more interesting that way. =D

  2. Hey hun! Is your fanfic suppose to be a comedy?
    If so i definitely found it funny! Love Pikachus journey so far, but then again i also agree with Simon.
    If you can proof read your draft and fix a few errors it'll be great and maybe watch your tense like is it past or present you know etc.. I find you have too many short sentences after eachother maybe space them out abit also!
    Anyways goodluck with the final looking forward to reading it! great start so far miss! :)

  3. I liked the story, I wanted to keep on reading more. But are you writing the story as if it was in the past or in present? That got me a bit confused.
    I like Simon's idea about the pictures, because I'm not very familiar with Pokemon I just know how Picachu looks like and Ash and all of them, but don't know about the other Pokemons!
    Keep it up!

  4. Sounds good so far. Some parts were quite short, and the beginning was a bit confusing. Although you are getting somewhere into the story. Like what Simon said, there are some spelling mistakes that you would have to correct for your final one. Have fun writing the ending!

  5. I love how you are taking a children's program and turning it into something so r18+! Keep up the good work, just fix up the of the grammer errors and spelling before the final product!

  6. In saying to fix the grammer though, the mistakes and grammer add a lot to the humour, especially since it is originally a Japanese cartoon.