Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Luseane's Fanfic FINAL!! :)

LONELY HEARTS is based on a true story, two homicide detectives track Martha Beck and Raymond Martinez Fernandez, a murderous pair known as the "Lonely Hearts Killers" that seduced lonely, vulnerable women, milked them of their money and killed them in cold blood. My Fanfic is 1st person and is my own version of Martha Beck's thoughts leading up to her first kill.
Caution: Contains language that may offend some people.
Hope you Enjoy! :)

Sitting in the other room waiting for Raymond to finish banging the bitch is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The thought of him deep inside another woman makes my head want to explode! Why did he ask her to marry him? What was so wrong with me that he couldn't give up the money for my love? She only just walked into our lives and here she is taking MY man, his love and MY attention. I knew the brother sister act was bullshit we should not have taken it this far I hate her! Who the hell does she think she is?  I've never been one to share and Raymond is definitely something I am not willing to give up without a fight.

"Say my name Raymond...Kitty Kat. Say my name one more time... Kitty Kat. Do you love me? Yes Kitty I love you" What the fuck? Frustration quickly turns to anger as I hear the name “Kitty Kat” being called out over and over again like a broken record. Every bone in my body begins to cringe at the fact that she already has Raymond and now my name. Oh I’m so fueled with anger I could easily punch a hole through this wall and be able to see them fucking, I don’t know her but I hate her and tonight she will die…

Random thoughts ran through my head as I played different scenes as to how she will suffer. Should I just walk in and beat her to death? No, I have to get rid of her without much effort! The faster she dies the better. And what better way to kill this annoying pest but with Raymond’s own chainsaw. Questions started rambling in my head like an unsolved puzzle. What if he doesn’t love you anymore Martha? Who will want you then? It’s either you or her! Who is it going to be? Do you think Raymond will want you? You have no money! NOTHING! Get rid of her before she gets rid of you Martha DO IT! DO IT! Creeping up slowly carrying this chainsaw and listening to the moans coming from the other room felt like nails being stabbed into my chest not physically but emotionally. Tears followed just as fast. How could he do this to me? He knows how I feel about this woman and yet he plays with my heart the way he plays this woman for her money. Well two can play at that game ray ray and you better enjoy it while you can because after tonight my every wish will be your every command.

Opening the door was like opening up hell in all its glory! The sight of her riding Raymond back and forth and enjoying it stunned me and I was caught up in watching Raymond caress her back while looking into her eyes telling her how much he loves her. My heart ached and longed for him to see me in this state but he couldn’t see me. He only had eyes for this whore! Holding on to the chainsaw tighter I walked up looking at her back like a lioness looking at her prey for the last time. And with eyes wide open I rammed the chainsaw back and forth through her back and at this time I was moving in motion with the chainsaw mirroring what I had just seen. Her blood splattered all over the wall, floor and our bodies. Slowly she moved and pulled out of the chainsaw and dropped besides Raymond. Teary eyed and angry I yelled while climbing on to the bed “do you enjoy playing with my heart like this?” the closer I got to Raymond the more terrified he looked. Shaking and scared shitless he answered; “I was just working” working? Am I supposed to believe that every woman he gets with and says he loves he’s just working with? Suddenly a smile broke through as I pushed the close to dead whore aside. The sound of her body hitting the floor and hearing her gasp for air somewhat aroused me and I wanted Raymond to satisfy this feeling right away. 

Here i sit ready to be loved but he can’t even bare to look at me. Did he not understand that I had done this for us? Doesn’t it prove to him that I’d kill for his love? The walls began to shrink and I could feel my head pound harder and faster. The only noise echoing the room was of Raymond’s heavy breathing. Just as I was about to leave I felt his hands pulling me closer followed by a kiss. This reassured me that he did appreciate my hard work. No longer was he afraid of what I had just done and this made me feel at ease. He pulled himself together and embraced my love.Grinding on him I could see the blood spatter on our clothes and faces but that only made the love making that much more wilder. The feeling of fucking while having someone elses blood on my body made my heart race quicker with excitement.

Raymond is another person tonight he has never touched me so fiercely before and I wasn’t about to let him stop!  Just the thought of having to move Janet’s body is the hassle! Even dead this bitch is ruining this for me. Oh well nobody will notice her disappearance she’s nothing but a waste of space.  This time tomorrow we will live happily ever after, well at least until next whore comes along….  


  1. Wow I was fully **BLOWN** away by this whole scene altogether. You have obviously taken some serious time to put this together quite nicely. You described it so well that for a few seconds I vividly saw you holding the chainsaw in my head. Slightly psycho with a hint of sexy & a drop of hilarious. If there was a word for all three mashed together, it would be the perfect description. Luseane I'm impressed, all the best =] its nik by da way lmao

  2. You're really good at writing! I loved the story! The only suggestion I can give is use commas and watch your paragraphing.

  3. I like your thriller because I like suspicious mood. Your descriptions was great!

    You even used bold lettering and even swearing!

  4. The story was excellent. Maybe you should consider making this into another movie XD